ERA - Enae Volare mezzo

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I found a mistake!.

Funny anecdotes.

The son of mama for lunch:.
- Mamika, I must confess to you, I - GAY!.

it:.
- Type, X @ nd suck?.
- Yeah, Mamika.
- Then do not complain that I'm bad cook.


Mobile phone - as a pioneer tie, first proudly wear, then quietly hate.

The doctor, looking at the history of the disease, said her husband:.
- Your mother-in-law quite well. This is confirmed by all tests and x-rays.
- And is it possible, Doctor, that I was quite calm, do an autopsy?.

In a camp counselor helps children deal with their belongings.
And surprised to notice a boy with an umbrella.
- Why do you need an umbrella in the camp?.
- Tell me, have you ever had a mother?.

Father and son bought a Lada. A week went for a week was dead engine. Here are two of them sitting in the garage, turnips scratch. The father pulls out a book - a great description of the vehicle and its damage - repair.
- Here, my son, it is now - our Bible!.
- No, Dad, it is now - our Kama Sutra!.

My wife is on the edge of the curb, on the 8th floor balcony of a 16- storey building and said to her husband:.
- I do not want to live with such a womanizer, an alcoholic, and. Stop pushing me.


The class is a dictation. In the phrase ' blessed Prince Cinderella gift ' Little Johnny raises his hand.
- What is it, Little Johnny?.
- Is the word ' arch ' masculine?.

- How is your husband?.
- The second week does not dry out....
- And you did not try to stroke it, or at least hang?.

- Mom, it's on TV.
- This is my daughter, the birds are killed.
- But why?.
- In order not to hurt.

Thirty years and three years spent Ilya of Murom, the next on the stove. And then he cut off the Internet khalyavnyy.

The last stage ofigevaniya idleness at work - this is when you start reading spam.

Strict father lets his daughter to the movies with a guy:.
- To one and a half hours we were at home!.
guy:.
- Half an hour later? .

- Do you want to show the focus?.
- Educate yourself and then you will!.

- Hello, and you can track order? .

Maybe, who knows, what you can bring a pen?.
- And where did you put it?.

In the middle of the lake, the boat sits a man, fishes. Long sits will not bite....
- God, - a man prayed, - I went to you at least one big fish!.
Tiger shark pops up:.
- Well?.

Alex gives free concerts for children in Africa. Let children know that there are things more terrible than hunger.

The two go to a bar. One asks the other:.
- What are you going?.
- The same as you.
- The bartender and two beers, please.
- Then I, too, two.

Cvidanie, boy girl pours wine.
- No, no, I had enough, and then kicked the wrong thing.
- Give way?.
- No, apart.

My wife talks to her husband.
- They say you have a new secretary? .
- Twenty-.
- How does it work?.
- Nothing, I am satisfied.
- Beautiful?.
- Nice.
- And what is worn?.
- That dress is slowly.

Two African-American wake up with a terrible hangover (the case here in Russia, students Tipo exchange ). One of them said more or less on the Russian, the other not at all. ... ... Wrote the second shuffled to the stall, right, reads a piece of paper:.
- U vas pivo est?.
- No Limit.
(read more on a piece of paper ).
- Blyat, ya tak i znal.

- Ppofessop there in your dvepi is poor.
He asks to give anything.
- Hoposho, March, give him two puzzles for geometpii.

Laugh - shopu requires cleaning with a lack of expression, ...

Policeman stops on the road ...
- Why do you ride without a license plate?.
The driver gives him a Kramers hundred dollar bill:.
- Captain, do not get so nervous - the license plate written on this paper!.

Man complains his friend:.
- Hard to sell the flats - the parents are constantly at home!.

In the auto parts store:.
- Do you have spare parts for domestic cars?.
- What do you want?.
- Well... the nails on the 120....

At trial, the witness is questioned. Judge:.
- Witness, you say that the defendant had an hour before the murder of his own mother in law. Not if he made ​​the impression on you people insane?.
Witness:.
- Yes, like not normal was the guy....
Judge:.
- And how does it look?.
- The white of this, even on the lips of foam, a razor in his hand....
- Well, as you say.... So what does he then began to do something?.
- shaved.

I am already obpilsya tea, tobacco, stoned, three newspapers read by n * p * osaytam walked twice dined... and all of the working day does not end there!.

session. The examination of the history of.
A student with a big pull. (C1).
Professor ( R) asks:.
Who paid for the Japanese nuclear attack?.
(C1): United States.
All five.
A student with a slight pull. (C2).
(S): Who paid for the Japanese nuclear attack?.
(C2 ): U.S..
(S): What cities have been destroyed?.
(C2): Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
(S): How many were killed?.
(C2 ): 150-200 thousand Japanese.
All five.
The student does not cronyism. (C3).
(S): Who paid for the Japanese nuclear attack?.
(C3 ): U.S..
(S): What cities have been destroyed?.
(C3): Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
(S): How many were killed?.
(C3 ): 150-200 thousand Japanese.
(S): List the names of the dead!.

- I've got a new girlfriend!.
- Beautiful?.
- Not a word!.
- A terrible?.
- Here! .

Dear compatriots! .

- Why is the Red Square Red is called?.
- You know, Sergei, is a very ancient history. When in 1147 the first inhabitants of the then small....
- A shorter not?.
- That is why it is bl ** L called Red!.

- How is your husband?.
- The second week does not dry out....
- And you did not try to stroke it, or at least hang?.

Cafe, at the counter with a view to obscure the company of drunken youngsters hanging out.
Money to continue the banquet they clearly do not. And the mood, respectively, aggressively sociable. The saleswoman tells them:.
- Move away from the bar!.
In response:.
- You called someone a otstoykami??.

Humpback man meets a stutterer... Zaika asks:.
- C- c-c -c- c- Ssi -ga- Rhett -t- ki nne bb - buddha - em?.
- NN -N- cc - no smoke... - meets hunchback.
Zaika sees above him stebutsa and asks:.
- A century - and - a - p- rryu kzachke?.

- Vodka is going?.
- I can not....
- Well, have a drink....
- I can not throw up.......
- Who is there to throw up? .

Summer Evening. Pacific park. there is no one. The guy sitting on a bench with a very modest girl. It is, of course, afraid of everything. Then she said to him:.
- Can you imagine, when I was sitting like this with my last boyfriend and he told me that he wanted to kiss me, then I almost lost consciousness!.
Then dude starts to really laugh, already half formed - the tears from my eyes from laughing. She was puzzled by his laughter, asked him why he laughed so wild. He says:.
- I just imagined what would have happened to you, if you found out that I now have in mind!.


A female director of IT people rushes into the room, throws it on the table a pack of papers and says:.
- It is urgent to send an email.
Admin, not looking up from the company:.
- Do not get.
Director of the surprise:.
- This is why more?.
admin:.
- E- envelopes are over!.


The teacher tells the children:.
- Tell me who of you that like me, and I'll say what you will!.
Peter:.
- I like your haircut!.
- Well done, Peter, you will be a hairdresser.
Sasha:.
- I like your dress!.
- Good for you, Sasha, you become a fashion designer.
Masha:.
- I like your white teeth!.
- Oh, Masha, you have become a dentist. Little Johnny, but what are you silent? .
- Yes, Marivanova, I realized that I would either work at the creamery, or going to the gynecologist.


- Tell me, how many times you make love with his wife in a week?.
- Ten times.
- Wow, this is almost twice as much as your neighbor!.
- It's still my wife.


Husband and wife together for the first time in an expensive restaurant. Sit eat something. My husband is constantly looking around from side to side. And suddenly it is suitable for any pretty woman, and tenderly kissed him, whispering something in his ear. The wife is furious:.
- And who is that?!.
- Oh, be still, my dear, for God's sake! .


Student comes to school with a programmer am angry. His classmates ask:.
- Why are you so angry?.
- Yes, the program last night stuffing.
- And that does not work?.
- No, earned.
- Maybe the wrong work?.
- No, the correct.
- And what then?.
- Yes Backspace to sleep....


In the Parliament debated the new law of two articles:.
a. Thou shalt not kill.
2. Thou shalt not steal.
Deputies adopt amendments.


My wife is trying to stir up a drunken man on the performance of marital debt. He just logs. She goes to the balcony and cried in despair:.
- There is in this city at least one guy?.
A neighbor from above:.
- What is it? .


In the office comes bykovatogo fellow species with a strong chain around his neck. Fits to the guard down and asks:.
- Where the owner?.
guard:.
- Master's lost? .


Moishe comes to the rabbi, said:.
- I want divorce from his wife.
- Moishe, why do you want to get divorced, you would be the worse.
- No, I would be better.
- Listen, Moishe. Your wife is so beautiful, so pleasant, it is pleasing to the eye of any such dreams. Everyone knows her dignity, and you want her to quit, why?.
Moishe quietly removes her shoe and put it in front of a rabbi:.
- Rabbi, look for this shoe. Everyone sees how beautiful she is, would all like to have the shoe. But only I know how this shakes me you bastard!.


A teacher at the school invites children to come up with a proposal in which the word ' great ' * upotre lyaetsya double.
- Mary: ' Yesterday my father bought my mother a great dress that looked great mom '.
- Peter: ...
- Little Johnny: ...


Pinocchio crossword puzzles, Malvina, trying to draw attention to themselves, looking over his shoulder.
- Nice, well, how much you can say. Female sexual organ of the five letters - this is n * buildings, not hollow!.


Turner thoughtfully rubbing cloth wrench key. Chief approaches him and begins to ship:.
- Petrov, * la! .
- You know, I still key cloth wipe, while the machine is an iron brush cleaner, yet handles myltsem otmoyu as disguise. That's just the end of the day will come.
- No, Petrov! .
- A human you meet that? .


Good movies that there is 1.5 hours of screen time the heroes manage to not only meet, sleep, and disperse, but repeat the same thing with other characters. In real life this can be done only at corporate.


- What is the difference between a prostitute, a mistress and a wife?.
- ******* Etc and have zhoping first, then shopping. In contrast mistress: first, shopping, and then zhoping. And for the wife shopping associated zhopinga does not imply.

Slow down, a moment - you are persecuting!.

Nude wedding myself, I can still imagine, but nudist funerals!.

Jews arrive with the Arabs as it is not a Christian.


- Darling, you could change me with another woman?.
- Probably could if I wanted.
- It's great that you do not want!.
- Yes, I would want if I could.

- I'm afraid I have to sell a car.
- Why?.
- Every time I stop, a policeman approaches and asks if there are witnesses to the accident.


How to actually cast a horoscope:.
- Taras, who are you to sign?.
- Scorpio.
- So we can write. Next week, Scorpio must pay off debts, or they are waiting for big trouble.

Once you find your soul mate, begin to wander around the other half and make you doubt.

- Honey, I went to the doctor yesterday, he said that I had a baby. This is what I think: if I 'm going to a mechanic, I will have a car?.

- Imagine, he raped me, and I thought him a friend!.
- How did this happen?.
- How, how. We went to the sauna with him, then he invited me to drink, so I grew weak, I undressed and climbed into bed, and then he attacked me.
- You climbed naked into his bed and say that you were raped?.
- Well, because I relied on his integrity.


One man to another:.
- How do you think to stash zatyrit to his wife just could not find?.
- In the paper wrap.
- You what?? .
- In divorce papers, a pancake.

SAD. Life is waiting for 18. 00 hours and weekends.


I do not easily pass across the field cucumber,.
Here is the fruit of nature invented heartless!.


Dragon, do the wings, for you.
Murom filed with the. Yaga.


I wish you happiness, you're the perfect couple, in bed, wholesale logs log. Pierrot.

Muscovites will hear the prayers of Muslims over loudspeakers

The Moscow mayor's office recently issued a decree on the fall in the capital, cultural and charity ' Ramadan Tent ' holiday Eid ul-Fitr (September 9 ) and Eid al -Fitr (16 November).

It is expected that the activities can take part in a total of more than 30,000 people.

Deputy Mayor of Moscow on interregional cooperation, Sport and Tourism Sergey Baidakov, which will oversee the execution of the order, said GZT. RU, that all will be strictly within the law. ' Moscow - one of the largest religious centers in the country. The faithful have the right to satisfy their spiritual needs in religious buildings and structures, as well as in other places given to religious organizations for such purposes, including for the festivities ' - he said. The official added that the initiator of the broadcast was the Council of Muftis of Russia.

Note that many bloggers and participants in online forums are dissatisfied with the decision of the City Hall. They explain their poztsiyu fact that last year during the celebration of Eid al- Adha festival sacrificial lambs slaughtered right at the capital's streets, often shocked bystanders.

We recall also the city authorities in the near future are going to develop a special set of rules that helps visitors quickly get comfortable in the city. In particular, migrants do not make recommendations to cut a sheep in the yard, do not fry in the balcony, do not walk around the city in national dress and speak only in Russian.

Yuri Deryabin.

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Proposals City Hall to fight traffic jams in Moscow

Sergey Sobyanin suggested ...
This monumental work - six sections, about a hundred points - on the website of the Moscow City Government. Muscovites are invited to make the changes here.

- Discussion of the plan should not become a talking shop. We spent literally three to four weeks to finalize it and make a real action plan with deadlines and the approximate amount of funding - Sergei Sobyanin said at a recent meeting in the Government.

What does a mayor's office? .

ROAD - TOLL.

...

Expert comment:.

- It is absolutely corrupt scheme. It only feed those who would control the entry of these ... - Because to regulate the entry and take money to put a man with a stick. So he will earn. In the Netherlands, will soon be easier and more efficient. There, each car is equipped with JPC- transmitter. And all the roads of the country are divided into different zones. For travel on rural road - a fee for passage through the city center - other. The device can ... And the owner of the car comes from how much he was being hit over the last month. But we have such a system is unlikely to introduce.

ROUTE - WIDER.


... Enthusiasts ) ...

Expert comment:.

- I wonder how, for example, you can extend Leningradka in Khimki? . - To do this, I suspect, will have to endure many buildings, including homes! . I think that in each case, you need to take a separate decision. This is the road we are expanding because there is much. But this line - no, but the building next to the road - doubler. In reality, I'm sure it will be so. It is unlikely that authorities will increase the banding in spite of everything.



The driver is sad: trolley away from the center of offer.


MULTILEVEL TRUNK.

...

Expert comment:.

- The idea is not new and is used for a long time in the world, - the head of head of public organization ... - In Japan, for example, roads and interchanges have up to seven levels. But, as for example, will look like a two-or three-storey Leningradka from the Third Ring Road to the ring? . Of construction costs, I 'm not saying - they will be enormous. But purely from a traffic point of view of highway needs. If, of course, it will be no more than 1 - 2 of Congresses. Otherwise, it becomes not vyletnuyu and conventional intercity road, always standing in traffic jams.

BAND ' lose weight '.

... At present, the width of traffic lanes in the city of 3.5 - 3.75 m, but the speed limit 60 km / h, which corresponds to the maximum bandwidth, the dynamic envelope does not exceed 3.3 m ...

Expert comment:.

- Good, right offer, - says Alexander Shumsky. - The band width of 3.75 meters more suitable for large suburban highways. Moscow is enough 3.3 meters. But the authorities a little late. In most of the major avenues and the width of the bands already narrowed. Get at least Razanak though Varshavka. I Gaugeable - it strips about three feet. So much of this reserve we have, unfortunately, already used.

Shoulders - UNDER THE ASPHALT.

...

Expert comment:.

- Side of the road, no doubt, you can use - says the idea of ​​the organization department head of road safety MADI Anatoly Ryabchinsky. - But in shoulder - a rarity, they are mostly outside the city. Therefore, I fear the road will not increase due to curbs and sidewalks by. But in Moscow, they decided to park, the sidewalks are already narrowed! .


What will look like a two-or three-storey Leningradka from the Third Ring Road to the ring?.



MULTISTOR IED PARKING.

... ) ...

Expert comment:.

- Great idea, it has long wanted to implement - says Ian Kachko, CEO, ... - But it is necessary first of all clear about the place - where you can build these parking. And secondly, dramatically accelerate the adoption of documents by City Hall. Now, to get approval for the construction of a single parking space, you need to spend up to two years of age and up to 3.3 million rubles for the approval documents! . Therefore, there is mechanized parking at every step, and we, unfortunately, they only talk about.

Captures PARKING.

...

Expert comment:.

- This old idea that failed to implement Luzhkov, - says Sergey Aslanian avtoekspert. - The fact that the former mayor just sold the land at the end subway stations for the construction of shopping malls. Now have to build parking lots are no longer in Moscow, and in. And people from parking lots to the metro to carry on the special shuttle bus. Of course, if the authorities really want to do it all.



Even yesterday, there were parking spaces, and now - pure asphalt and traces of the old layout.
Photo: Sergei Shakhidjanyan.


COVERAGE - STRONGER.

...


expert Commentary.

- Find the formula of ... - And this formula, I assure you, there is in full use outside Russia. So, for example, in the Leningrad region, the roads are bad, and in neighboring Finland - good. We have, even if this formula will find it will be difficult to implement. The roads are well built unprofitable. Their advantage is constantly repaired. Then the traders make, and officials receive kickbacks. Therefore, we will continue to ride over bumps.

SPLIT FLOW.

...

expert Commentary.

- Yes, it's simple and effective measure to reduce accidents, - said Anatoly Ryabchinsky. - Just this fence is not every street can be put.

One-way traffic.

...

expert Commentary.


- This measure should be implemented with great care, - says head of the department of logistics MADI Victoria Gerami. - The fact that one-way traffic can only enter on the street, next to which is parallel to the street - doubles. They should move in the opposite direction. Otherwise - the traffic jams.

PEDESTRIAN, does not interfere!.

...

expert Commentary.

- Excellent idea. Pedestrian and vehicle should not be crossed on the road - said Anatoly Ryabchinsky. - Then people will be less likely to fall under the wheels, and cars go much faster. After all, if there is a transition vneulichny means ... However, until recently, the Moscow authorities do not really built the underground passages, and now there are not enough, even in the center of Moscow. It's expensive to build - you need to carry a lot of communication. Are the new government to spend money?.




November 10, the third transport ring. On line here and there moving trucks (in red), whose entry into the center has limited Luzhkov.




noise bandwidth.

...

expert Commentary.

- These so-called ... - The scheme is simple: if a driver falls asleep and his car drives off towards the curb, the car gets to the ... The driver wakes up. These stripes are on the roads in the U.S.. But that's why they are in Moscow - I'll never know. First, when driving on our city can hardly fall asleep! . Ran into him - awake. These bands are good for long-distance routes where there is a curb.

GORI, MARKING, BRIGHT.

...

expert Commentary.

- These katofoty - very small, the size of 40 microns, devices that reflect headlights. Abroad apply for a long time. Katofoty applied to the road layout, thanks to them it is more visible. In Moscow, unfortunately, I have not seen katofot and doubt - is there a technique for their application. But if they will - would be great. Road markings will be better seen and certainly decrease the number of accidents. However, the load on the road, we substantially more than the norm. Therefore, marking, and thus katofoty on it will be quickly erased. They have to constantly re- apply.

' Green Wave '.

...

expert Commentary.

- The idea of ... - The bottom line is this: the decision about what to include light, take a computer - based on how many machines and in which direction at this intersection is now moving. But in the rush hours, when it happens, ... There needs more moves. For example, the extension of roads or the construction of interchanges.

PENALTIES - ABOVE.

...

expert Commentary.

- A good idea. Many motorists park their cars in Moscow, unfortunately, where and how they want, - said Vladimir Nosov. - In the West, for that huge fines, and we have - trifle, and that is unrealistic to seek.

The first responses.

...

Muscovites are already discussing proposals Hall.

Muscovite:.

I read paragraph 2. 13: ...
I read a paragraph. 3: ...
So would have been determined: reverse the movement to make or build a fence?.
We immediately see that the document wrote Army theorists. Propose to increase the number of tow trucks. They do not know that the tow trucks cause more congestion than the car, which they evacuated.
Or, for example, offer to introduce paid travel. Do we pay enough road tax? . That, again, not enough money? .

Hbc:.

There is a sound idea, but most - water. It will never be realized. If anything, then my suggestion to study the issue of tightening the administrative responsibility for the movement of freight transport - where the movement is prohibited. Up to the deprivation of rights!.
On the TTC every day I see a huge dump ' annealing at 70' in the extreme left lane, in the evening all the prefab, concrete mixers, has outlived its under communism ' Intourist ' buses, trucks, take a lot of places (like 2-3-4 light vehicles ), travel . And even in the winter and will slip on the trail, and each increase.
And finally to drive traffic police on the streets, not to sit around in their offices and stood as the pillars on the road with ' languid eyes ' fining for ' tasty ' violations and pocketing their main function - to ensure road safety. Let them govern the movement (all the problem areas are well known to every Muscovite, that's out there and let stand ). It is also necessary to introduce the norm of ' arrival at the scene of an accident ' for the traffic police. And for his failure to ruthlessly deprived of bonuses and salaries. Emergency lights they have, then have to come quickly, that line did not stand because of the slightly potsarapashihsya machines, occupied two rows.
A ' expand ', ' deepen ', ' run ', ' construct ' it for years and decades. Because the first ' excavated ', ' garden ', ' restrict the ', ' start designing '. This course should be done, but it will not happen soon, it is not known whether, and vehicles during this time will be more.

grumpy:.

Can be reduced by half the number of accidents, leaving only the road signs and to remove advertising signs. After all, every little bit snack or beauty salon is committed to post a placard. Nowhere in Europe do not have them - and no one dies without. They only boards with the names of streets.

Dimas:.

The city could not breathe, and they offer a trolley away from the center. Trams to Leningradka removed that - better get here? . In the bright future we will walk through the city on foot and in gas masks.

Their wishes for the organization of movement in Moscow, you can leave the site the City Hall mos. ru, as well as on our website - kp. ru.




rice. Nicholas VORONTSOVA.


QUESTION OF THE DAY.

What would you suggest to the mayor's office plan to combat traffic jams?.

Alexei Mitrofanov, a politician:.

- Cornerstone - a subway. Parking and interchange - this is good, but it should speed up the construction of the subway. At one station per year - this is not the rate of. And second, what nobody says, - inventory of the secret underground economy. We know also that under the New Arbat is a tunnel. You can make it pay, and transfer to general use. Times have changed, what's the point to keep it a secret?.

Viktor Pokhmelkin, a leader of the Movement of Russian Motorists:.

- Ensure that the center of the capital was purely cultural, historical, free from all agencies and offices. And that traffic cops are not chasing for fines, and adjusted manually operated.

Anatoly elbow, a State Duma deputy:.

- Create jobs in the cities of Moscow region. After all, how many people go to work every day in Moscow! . All the rest can not be solved all at once - this problem is created for years, and the forced march of a month is not much help.

Yuri Entin, songwriter:.

- Learn to use the underground garages of Muscovites. Many of them do not know or are afraid to put the machine back. And to remove the billboards from sidewalks. It is better to convert some of them, where there are no pedestrians, for the passage of vehicles.

Ivan dulcitol, fitter Northern Railway:.

- In Moscow and the region is well developed rail network. Let the officials peresyadut a car with flashing lights on the train.

Anfisa Reztsova, three-time Olympic champion:.

- As someone who is just at this moment is going to train, I can advise: leave cars to change to public transport. Although they are expensive to use, too, was.

Oleg Sorokin, mayor of Nizhny Novgorod:.

- Only the shift of priority towards public transport and restrictions for private cars! . In Nizhny Novgorod, we also decided to go this route.

Bashin Alexander, the architect:.

- Invite experts from the capital Tokyo, Hong Kong. There's technically correct separated streams of cars, public transport, pedestrians and cyclists.

Alex, a reader Site KP. RU, Moscow:.

- As in some European capitals: one day of travel only even numbers, and the second - the odd.






Discuss.

Novgorodian jailed for Learn - roller with a penalty

23 -year-old resident of Great Novgorod, Sergei Larionov will have to answer in court for the posting of the video with the execution of two people, the people of Tajikistan and Dagestan, according to ' RIA Novosti '. Larionov case sent to court after the approval of the indictment.

Local law enforcement agencies presented Larionov charged with an offense under Part 1 of Article 282, that is for ' inciting hatred or enmity, as well as humiliation of human dignity ' - up to two years imprisonment.

Roller, which is the scene of the murder of two men masked men calling themselves members of the ' National Socialist Party of Rus ', was hosted by one of the Novgorod providers in autumn 2007. Since the placement of the video clip to remove the download time to about 30 users.

' Larionov, consistently adhering to extremist positions and nationalist views.

Recall that last fall the 24- year-old resident of Maikop Viktor Milkov, was sentenced to one year of corrective labor for placing video online execution. Then it became clear that Maikop student for two years in a distributed network of material aimed at inciting national hatred.

Clip from the scene of the murder of two persons ' operatives of the National- Socialist Party of Russia ' has started on the Internet in late August of last year. A few days a video has become almost the main ' hit ' blogs and ended up in ' Top -30 Yandex '. However, most of the posts with the roller was removed fairly quickly.

How do I remove programs from startup

Many people ask why my system operatsionnoya long time to load at system startup, c What is the reason, what. program to optimize the computer. needed. where there is a Startup. system and how to disable startup programs and applications? .

It's about how. how to remove programs from startup. and applications that would reduce the load time windows.

a. Go to the Start menu and select the command ' Run '.

2. In the line ' Run ' prescribes 'msconfig' and click 'OK'.

3. A window ' System Configuration ' in the window click on the tab ' Startup '.

4. In the window you will see all programs and applications that are automatically loaded with the system.

5. Now, removing the checkmark from the programs and applications, you hereby authorize or prohibit the launch of these programs from loading Windows. After all done, restart your computer.

Your mobile operator raises rates by half

Poll: do you stay or change the number and operator?.

We have many switched to Tele2. Really cheap but lousy relationship with poor coverage and a bunch of fag - promoters, recording your passport 3-5 simok without your permission. And I'm crying like a fool three times, but keep the old number, which scored in the books at least 2tys. a man for ten years. Only in my book, more than 600 rooms. But this is poetry, and what you are willing to save in the 50-300 rubles per month?.

I have more than ten ( but less than twenty), and several urban mobile numbers of federal super price. Total expenditures exceeded 15tys. rubles, and do not say that it's okay. I know I could cut costs by half. But, bitch, it's too late. Rooms included in notebooks and reference books. A change in the event of non-trivial procedures are complicated, because not all drawn up on me and in my area.

How absolutely right resume

Repeatedly taking part in the recruitment process, I'm just amazed at the number of low-quality resumes. Later in the forums here are ' pseudo- compilers ' whine that can not find a job. Although examples of how to make out a summary on the Internet in bulk:.

http://www. mem. com. ru /. ;.

http://www. job. ru / resume / shablon_resume. html. ;.

http://www. homebusiness. ru/job/st7. htm.

1380000 and a reference on the topic ' resume ' on. http://www. google. ru /.

Let's start with the typical mistakes that even seasoned pros programming:.

1. 
   Before we resume, study designs, which the shaft of the Internet. Here is a simple and stupid rule. But, nevertheless, come to the job summary of the clouds, composed literally ' God put on the soul '. Incorrectly written resume dramatically ( by at least 50-60%) decreases your chances of getting a job interview. For, looking at the stack of resumes that need to learn, I find it easier to throw properly written resume than the steam from the analysis of the structure hitropozhoy resume regular nerd - contender.
   


2. 
   ALL who did not bother to check the spelling in your resume at least ' a Word ' - dull, stupid! . JUST. no respect. It's like ' execution can not be pardoned '. If such a take on the job, then thou shalt break his head in his writings, trying to understand what he meant? . Hence the conclusion: careless, just have not checked, in summary, he described himself as an accurate means to the same and lies, not consulted with the labor book (otherwise b noticed how to spell ), and hence is not well suited to the work, it's not a typo - random . 100% in the trash. And do not hope for the best outcome.
   


3. 
   Check your resume to the logical meaning of. For example, a person wrote that worked as the head, even the director, and claims to the position of a simple programming. Clearly, the question of small business, where the man was himself, and the programmer and director of. Although the explanation is, but looks a career ladder is illogical. Or a programmer for a vacancy in the summary indicates knowledge of CorelDraw, though the basic skills.
   

Now forget about the other sites with the description of how to write resumes and write. I give the only correct version of the summary, a well run- in practice and not causing the slightest comment from employees of HR departments.

---

Name [ name of writing full story].

E-mail: [ if possible, not from the public domain, such as mail. ru].

home. phone. : [ With area code, even if you are seated ].

Cell. phone. [ Write a mobile number required].

Locations: [ town for the big city, you can specify area ].

purpose:.

Getting the Job [ Job Name ]. If necessary, add the conditions for obtaining jobs for which you will agree a priori, for example: ' Full-time. Willingness to relocate to another city '.

Skills [ skills divide into separate groups and list them on the items very well, without the ' water ', for example, as indicated below ]:.

1. 
   Delphi: multi-threaded server, web- interfaces, sockets, WinAPI. 5 years.
   


2. 
   Interbase and client applications (IBX, DBEXPRESS, ADO). 4 years.
   


3. 
   MS SQL Server. 4 years.
   


4. 
   Knowledge of the standard and level of programming experience TPC / IP, HTTP-PROXY, SOCKS-PROXY, SMTP, POP3, HTTP, HTML, XML, XSL-. 2 years.
   


5. 
   Design of high availability mode ( 24x7, « soft... 4 years.
   

Experience [ in reverse chronological order ]:.

• 
  From February 2000 -. current place of work. [ full official name of organization ], r. [ City ]. [ job title exactly as written in the workbook ]. Brief, at 2-3 offers a description of duties, such as ' internal automation software development company based database Interbase, Firebird, Yaffil. Replication between servers, Interbase, MS SQL Server. reporting. '.
  


• 
  June 1998 - January 2000. Company ' hooves and horns ', r. Moscow. Software Engineer Category 1. Further development and configuration software.
  

Education [ in reverse chronological order ]:.

• 
  1994-2000 year. [ full official name of institution ]. Indicate the education just as it is written in the diploma, such as' Diploma in Systems Engineering with honors from the direction of ' Instrument '.
  
  


• 
  [ It also indicates other diplomas ].
  
  

In addition, [ specify related skills and experience that can positively influence the decision to admit you to work ].

1. 
   Published articles in magazines and websites:.
   

• 
  log [ full official name, number, page, name of article ].
  


• 
  list of sites [ direct link to article].
  
  

2. 
   Brief description of yourself, for example: ' friendly, honest, responsible, beskonflikten. Good to establish contact with the users, the ability is available to give the necessary explanations '.
   


3. 
   If the job as stated wishes of the knowledge of technical English, and you meet the wishes of this, here quote: ' Technical English '.
   

---

Note on resume writing:.

1. 
   Summary typed in Arial, size 10, only the name, size 14. There is no discord in the design are all severely dry, office.
   


2. 
   Volume 1 page summary. not two! .
   


3. 
   Notice how the punctuation marks are placed in the summary (after the point of no name, no points after the address, etc. Dr.. )!.
   


4. 
   What is listed in the skills to be confirmed in work experience, T. e. if you wrote 'Delphi- five years ', that's show in an experiment where you took 5 years experience programming in Delphi.
   


5. 
   Item ' Experience ' is taken entirely from the work record in. reverse chronological order. It suffices to show the skills and experience over the past 5 years.
   


6. 
   In section 'Education' does not specify any data about school, especially about the date of receipt of it. Included in the item only significant for the job diplomas. Certifications and courses are specified in ' Advanced'. Chronological order, and here, as in the experiment, the reverse.
   


7. 
   In the 'Advanced' do not write about the passion fish, hiking and reading detective. Only that relates to job. If a vacancy indicate additional comments for the applicant, then the 'Advanced', and you reflect how you meet these wishes. As a general rule, employers are willing to technical English, pre-retirement age is the ability to work in a team. So write: English and Technology, the age -30 years, for example, worked in teams of 5-10 people.
   


8. 
   All the items summaries should be linked:.
   

• 
  In ' Goal ' that you specify the position for which you are applying for.
  


• 
  In the ' Skills ' only lists the skills that directly relate to the job. Nothing in excess!.
  


• 
  In the ' Experience ', in a brief description of each position that you occupy, showing how and where they were received by the above mentioned skills.
  


• 
  From the graphs 'Education' should be understood by your level of initial training and education, which is formed on the basis of your experience and skills.
  


• 
  And click 'more' is the finishing touch to your resume, meet the wishes of the employer for additional.
  

Summary typed in MS Word and attached to an email. In the body of the text is written along the following lines:.

---

Good day!.
I am sending you a summary on the job [ the exact name of job ]. If you are interested in my candidacy, then please, please, employment details, number of interviews, the total time that may be required for the interview (t. e. negotiates the conditions did not work and employment conditions, t. e. How will the interview process. At the interview can already speak specifically about the working conditions, but not in the first email!).

---.
[ Name ].
Below is a summary of your skills, rather than aphorisms and sayings cruise, as many like to do, for example: ' Leading Software Engineer: internal software development automation, Delphi, Interbase / Firebird, MS SQL Server, LAN administration '.

---

For each job, a summary should be adjusted so that it more fully in line with the text of Job. For example, when I was employed, I have had 4 different summaries in very different positions, each of which I have and ' adapted ' slightly to the requirements of the relevant vacancy.

News from the Field - day control

After the successful acquisition of a new site glanders no longer seem so by shit, like the previous week. It was possible to directly raise the wages for two bucks. If we can raise puzomerki some projects that have long been traded in the index, so you may find that things are not so bad.

Generally, in this race for puzomerkami there is something of the devil. After all, if you think it is a parameter that is not even guaranteed to find a site in the index. But because the buy links more with pot-bellied sites. But what if you do not pump, and remove the top but not pot-bellied sites? .

In ksape, as in Switzerland is stable - 25 per day. Many people ask me about the system reference manual installation. I do not know, did not use. Add site to ksapu and stupidly wait until the start to buy. While the amount that I have a much easier this method. So I have no idea how to put links to your site by hand. Although, I understand that the machine operates at random and the site could stand a month, and without reference.

Setlinks consistently brings to three bucks. But that's what upsets. Did the filter on ' free ', but yesterday he was not found. Apparently, restoring the database from backup. Did the filter re-. But now and still have to clean up sites on the shit. The filter is not retroactive.

YAN is still not in a hurry to please. Bids are low and as a result is not very high, and forecast. All this has led to the fact that income from YAN caught up with Adsense. That is strange, if falls on a weekend YAN almost to zero, then the Adsense at all uneasy. What's on Monday 5 bucks on Saturday. Begun as always, is in the range 1.1. 5 bucks a day, sometimes flying out to the bar in the $ 3. But there is blame my laziness - it is high time to put the code on other sites.

Yesterday avtoblog put on the banned sites. The hard- learned nine domains in three hours. So spent a long time, because the copied article. To 330 articles on each site, which then become posts. But all your design, your zamorochki and trivia. Let's see how work. Generally, when I think that the end of November I have to do 140 sites, is sickening. Especially since I only have content in half the typed. But how fun it will be in December! .

UPD. Demolished 25 sites. Yandex was hard to put a ban sites. What there nouindeks. So check technology Unbanning: delete a site, a couple of weeks, put a new site. I also change the ip. On the other Akka is now completely change my mot, content, navigation. But for a living without destroying the domains and not waiting. At the same domain sent a letter to a support Yasha. Even cooking attack new domains. They are almost 100 pieces. T. e. work ahead of the curve. If everything is put, there is a chance to go to NY at 300 sites in markets. And then you can safely survive the winter.

Yes, there is a suspicion that Yasha not like Adsense, and he includes it in the form of additional. factor, which stands for the ban. Here's what 's funny at all sites where there is YAN and Adsense, Adsense, and brings more clicks and money ( not always, but almost always).

------------------------.

Malashkin. again changed the design of. Yesterday, discussing with him avtoblog and tariff policy of the club. Well, I can not introduce a subscription fee. Three useful plug-in. the experimenter for your FF. I have other stand - or rather only two: seokveyk and Yandex Bar. You understand why. Blogun - is. glorious pastoral pomoechka. Believes Arseniy. Grandfather says Vitali,. how to save tourist.

Sett described. state of affairs in Murmansk. This is a. post on dismissals.

Lukashenko called himself the president of Russia

It did happen. It is strange that only now. I can imagine how sad sigh at this moment, millions of fans of the Red Banner Choir Lukashenko, usually singing about Iron Belarusian order.

So the newly elected, very-very first President of Belarus Alexander Lukashenko in one of his speeches called himself the president of Russia.

...

Of course, the Old Man made ​​a reservation. It is the way at this moment to explain to citizens that he again tried to fool Moscow, but he is on guard. Well, mixed in a rage, ... It happens to everyone!.

So do not even want to look at this ridiculous incident hidden political subtext. Rumors of hidden desires become the all-Russian Lukashenko Old Man - long since lost any sense. There would have to think about something else.